January 14, 2009

New Year, New Me? Let’s hope…

Posted in Days of my life, Family life, Girl Stuff, Mormon life tagged , , , , at 2:59 PM by Robin

 

Like 95% of Americans, I have resolved to lose weight this year.  Again.  It really hit home when we gathered together with the Lambert family last weekend to watch the 2008 DVD collection of everyone’s pictures and home videos.  Despite mydesperate attempts to avoid all cameras this year, occasionally someone did manage to capture me on (digital) film. I really hardly recognized myself.  I mean, I know it’s me, but it doesn’t look like me.  My face seems all distorted and strange-looking.  I don’t even really care about my body in these pictures, I just hate that some fat person keeps jumping in front of me whenever someone takes my picture.  It’s kind of distressing to me to know that I will still be overly large in all the pictures from our upcoming Disney World trip and that I probably won’t like looking at those pictures, either.  We have some pictures on our wall from when Andrew and I went to Disney World on our honeymoon, eleven years ago, and at the time I thought I looked terrible in them because my hair was way frizzed out and flying all over the place, but now, I can only hope to get back to looking as good as I do in those pictures.  I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life running away from cameras.  And I don’t want my children to grow up remembering me at my current size.

I’ve come to terms with not looking like a supermodel long ago, and I really don’t expect  or need to get down to a size 6, but it would be nice to downsize from moderately obese to pleasantly plump.  For one thing, I’m sick of having to shop in the “Women’s” section (which by the way, is a very annoying way of saying “Fat Ladies”.  I mean, the “Men’s” section is for men of all sizes.  But women have to shop in either the “Misses” or the “Women’s”, which kind of gives the impression that once you grow up and get married, you automatically double in size). It seriously limits your fashion options.

It’s not just about looks, either.  I’ve been having a few minor health problems that would probably be alleviated if I were able to lose a few pounds, like insomnia, sinus problems, and (worse than usual) varicose veins (I know–Ewww).  I would like to take care of that before my minor health concerns become major ones.  They say that just losing ten percent of your body weight can drastically improve your overall health.  So, that’s going to be my starting goal. I hope to lose 10% of my (currently undisclosed) weight by Lily’s birthday, May 3rd. That should put me back at a little less than my pre-James weight, which is certainly not ideal, but is a heck of a lot better than where I am now.

In order to be successful at this endeavor, I need to figure out what’s holding me back.  I have just signed up at a small gym close to our house that is opening up this week (about time–Riverton has been gym-free since we moved here almost nine years ago), but that’s only the first step.  This gym doesn’t have child care, and it is ridiculously difficult to find a time when Andrew can stay home with the children–seriously, he has something EVERY SINGLE NIGHT this week!  (You guys wonder how I can stand having him do plays?  Well, it’s not a whole lot different than normal life at our house.)  Fortunately, his mornings can be flexible sometimes, so we’re going to try to get me over there a couple of mornings a week and on Saturday. 

I’m hoping just getting some actual exercise will give me an initial bump, but I’ve got to figure out how to resolve my nutrition issues.  There are several problems here: first, I’m at home all day with immediate access to all the food at any time. Second, I have to make like ten meals a day, since everyone here seems to need to eat five or six times a day, and I just get really tired of having to prepare stuff that takes time, like chopping vegetables.  Third, nobody in my family will eat anything with vegetables in it.  I would be much  more prone to eating  more salads and stir-frys and salmon and other healthy stuff if I wasn’t the only one who would touch them. Fourth, times are tight for everyone, and I can never (and I mean NEVER) actually manage to keep my grocery spending to the budget that Andrew expects me to.  I simply can’t afford to eat as healthy as I would like.  Especially if I have to make my meals in addition to whatever I have to make that my family will actually eat.

I want you all to understand that I am not trying to make flimsy excuses here.  These are real, difficult obstacles for me.  Believe it or not, I actually do enjoy exercising.  I have missed working out for the past two years.  And I like eating healthy food–I don’t drink soda, I’m not a real big cheese fan, I love almost all vegetables, and I’m not too big on fried foods–so I don’t fit the stereotypical fat American profile.  I can’t just cut soda out of my diet and lose twenty pounds when I only drink soda once or twice a month.  I do snack a lot during the day, and I have absolutely no resistance to sweets. So, there are all my issues laid out for you all to see.  I write this not to complain or whine, but because I could really use some help figuring out how to overcome these problems.  Online diets are not for me.  Keeping track of calories is really annoying and just won’t happen.  I need to find a real life solution.  I would love to be able to post before and after pictures next January and say, “Wow, I can’t believe I ever looked like that!”  If that happens, I’ll be happily jumping in front of any camera that comes my way.

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